Friday, November 21, 2008

Well hello there!

Well, hello there Jean and Anita...can't believe you two still check this page! (And yes, I am secretly...well not so secretly anymore...happy to know someone reads this thing.)

Sooo, the question was; what have I been up to? Well, it all began with me deciding to take a Reiki class, which then spiralled outwards, and I am now working towards my Naturopath Doctorate Degree. I am completing the diploma portion first, which still gives me the ND title and is recognized here in Canada, and then after that will pursue the actual MD ND if the requirements haven't changed. Right now I expect to conclude my diploma portion in the summer of 2009 and then it will be 3 years after that if I want the MD. The thing is, when you use the ND the only restriction is that you not represent yourself as a medical physician, but rather a doctor of naturopathic medicine. (Don't ask me!) If you then apply and are accepted and blah blah blah, you can actually get your medical degree in Naturopathic medicine (after the 3 years) and call yourself a physician. Sooo, I kinda think I will be able to practice quite successfully without doing the medical degree portion, however, this avenue supposedly will soon be closed and it will be like all other medical subspecialities where you do pre-med, then apply to the college of medicine and then specialize. So, if I go my current route, I am bypassing a lot of work that will be in place in the future.

Anyway, at this point, I'm just sick of being a student. I foolishly also decided to take some other Uni classes...and well, I suck at being a student. I'm not carefree and happy, drinking coffee, studying late, falling asleep in class (okay maybe that one), hanging with friends, partying on the weekends...nope that's not me. I am more like this: Drag my sorry butt out of bed, take the bus...yes the BUS to school, more on this later. Attend class where I barely understand a word my prof is saying because of his accent, however, apparently I have a better grasp of the material as all other classmates understand even less than I do. Then I go have lunch with myself or some other older idiot who has decided to return to school. Head to the library and try to learn what I should have learned in the previous class but didn't understand, then head to my next class, which I actually like. Finally last class, then off to catch the bus home. Then I get home, plug in my water heater for the stones and await my first client for reflexology or stone massage or whatever. Finally, I make something to eat, swallow it without thinking, talk to my mom, do some homework, or study or watch tv for an hour...do laundry, since I now have bedding to wash because of the clients, play with the cats, clean the litter box and go to bed, then start the whole damn thing over again 7 hours later. Does it sound like fun? Cuz well...

I'm not having fun...I hate taking the bus, but I can't stand trying to find parking and now that it's cold I don't want to have to warm my car up...so I shall do my part in going green and keep taking the bus. I think if I actually understood my one prof I would be much happier. It's as though he drops the the last syllables of his words. For instance, if he wanted to say, "If you are ambidextrous you are able to use both hands" I would hear something similar to this: If you are Uhhhhmbiduhs,...uuuunh den you are able to you zzzz boat hunds. Okay...not so bad...but try this one. The study of iridology both compliments and is used as a part of naturopathic medicine with relation to physiological representation, unlike the components used in medical practices such as Ayurvedic or Chinese herbal treatments. And now my professors version: The stuhdy of earieeduh..uhhn boat complea..uhhn and is use as part of natch..uhhntic medi scene wid relaunhh to fizzy...uhhnnn cal ripreeuhhhnshun un like dee compuhnnnts used in mediunnhcal practice such as Ayuhhhhnic or chinunnnnhz hairball treeuhhnts.

Kill me now please.

Anyway, I am now certified/qualified to practice and even teach in some cases in the following areas:Usui Reiki, Celtic Reiki, Acupressure, Reflexology Foot, Reflexology hand, Stone massage specialty for lymphatic drainage, Crystal healing, Energy balancing, Iridology. A lot of these areas are not governed by a licensing body yet, however, if you go towards the ND then they are at least regulated which helps when deciding what to take and where to take it from.

On the bright side of things, I love the actual practice that I have going, and have some very cool treatment stories to tell you about. However, it's time to run!

- Swapna
PS In case I deuhhnnduh to be lauhhnzee and duuhhhnt post zun, I wish you ull hauuuuhh pee hall eeeuuhn days. (translation: In case I decide to be lazy and dont post soon, I wish you all happy holidays)

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

The Fugue State

Yes I know this post is long overdue, but man, who would have thought the American Presidential election would be the catalyst to get me off my butt and start typing again! So I began the evening watching CNN being extremely bored with the campaign coverage...this is what happens when you are watching when the polls aren't even closed and all that's there to hear is the exit polls...which the pundits keep saying aren't worth a damn. Anyway, as the evening progressed so did my emotional state. The stages were distinct and well, extreme to say the least...so here's how it went

Bored, Bored, Irritated, Confused, Slight interest, Interest, Bored, Bored, Interest, Total Irritation, Indignation, Hysterical laughter, Cynicism, More Cynicism, Fear, Disbelief, Getting sappy, Thinking I should blog.

Now I know the above means nothing, but uhh, let's break it down a bit by adding in the triggering factors and an expanded view of my reaction:

Bored - polls still open
Bored - polls starting to roll in
Irritated - predictions with less than 2% reporting
Confused - pundits squawking about how useless exit polling is and has been...then using exit polling to make predictions
Slight interest - going online to actually see what the criteria for the exit polling is
Interest - Seeing the Ballot measures which incidentally did nothing for my general view of Americans
Bored - CNN getting so hyped about their stupid holographic thingy which made everyone look like they had hobbit legs and their virtual Capital Hill (boys with toys)
Bored - I channel surfed at this point and found nothing more interesting than the election

Interest - now because I had previously been channel surfing I missed the names of the people who were speaking...and well, I have no idea who these political pundits are but there they were, the five or six lined up to give their comments on what kind of an impact it would make if Obama were elected. This is also when I began my emotional rollercoaster. So they start off with the usual...Change is in the air, this could be an eye opener for the Republican party blah blah...then it happens. They start discussing the racial aspect and one of them says...When Obama is elected, if he's elected, the the world is going to have to respect us. WHAT???? Did that guy really just tell me that I have to respect the US because they are not being racist? Why yes he did. Oh wait it gets better, now he goes on to say yes it's true, there are a lot of people who said race would affect how they voted, but when faced with the continuing downfall of the economy or taking their chances with a black man who advocates change...well that trumps racism and so they would rather vote for a black man. He was really proud of himself as he discussed this aspect of the race.


Total Irritation - At this point I'm thinking I REFUSE to respect a nation just because they appear to have overcome a racial barrier....I might think, yes! it's about time, or Thank God change really can happen, or even Okay, I guess I can't continue to paint the entire US (with the exception of my friends) as redneck, racist, ignorant, arrogant loudmouths. Yes, I know I'm probably going to get slammed for this...but hey, I don't think that 24 hours a day, but quite often I do think it. Anyway, let's move right along. My point is, I don't think I can congratulate an entire nation and give them respect just because they finally do something that I think should never in our lifetime have been an issue anyway.

Indignation - this is still part of the emotional baggage from the above.

Hysterical laughter - They show the McCain hoopla where it's reported that no news is being forwarded to the guests anymore since it's all bad news. I admit, I'm not a McCain fan, but I still respect the man, and I found that single point so sad it made me laugh....not hahaha that's so funny, but hahaa, that's tragic.

Cynicism - I now KNOW Obama is going to win...I mean we all knew it...but there was a tiny portion of my brain that said...Oh God, what if there really has been no change in peoples' base natures...what if....

More Cynicism - They are about to call the election and yet I don't feel this is a historic moment, I don't feel it's amazing, I feel mad, cynical, and irritated I'm even watching.

Fear - Suddenly, I'm not cynical I'm scared. Scared someone is going to try to assassinate Obama, scared that a country has thrown down the gauntlet and is going after change but may not be ready for the price that may be exacted.

Disbelief - My cynicism and fear gives way to disbelief as I realize that Americans should feel proud of themselves...they just did something that in my heart of hearts, I did not believe they would do. And for the first time in my life, I felt a teeny weeny tiny bit of, well, happiness that the American people had previously voted for Bush. Yes, that's right, I was happy that Americans voted for someone I loathe. Why, well because I think only his grotesque manipulation and abuse of his position is what made the people of America mad enough to exact revenge in the form of Barack Obama.


Getting sappy - I hear McCain give his concession speech, and I believe him. He is gracious, he does want only good for his country, he would try to help if he was called upon. I think I'm getting sappy...how can an election make me feel this way. I'm still going up and down...one minute I'm laughing over the disparity between the campaign headquarters...blue hairs at McCains, kids at Obamas, now I'm mad that race even matters, now I'm proud race matters, it's just a mishmash of emotions and I can't wait to hear Obama. At this point my overwhelming feeling is this...no I don't have to respect the US for overcoming fears and challenges in the areas of bigotry, but I can feel proud that it's turned out that way. I don't have to diminish Obama's win by knowing that after what Bush has done this was inevitable, I can believe that the world can change...the world can grow up. Whether Obama lives up to what is expected of him and what rests upon his shoulders now is up in the air, but I really don't care...they are going to give him a chance and that's what really matters.

Thinking I should Blog - As I wait for Obama to make his appearance I think I should blog...and so that's what I'm doing. And now, Obama's done, I typed throughout his speech, he didn't really inspire me. I was happy to see his supporters didn't boo McCain, which is more than I can say for the McCain supporters, but he didn't touch me the way McCain did. Maybe because he won, being a gracious loser is far more difficult than being a gracious winner, maybe because I'm still lost in the mess of my own feelings. Somehow I didn't think the US election mattered to me, but it did, it does. I may make disparaging remarks about the US but some of my best friends live there and I don't think that way about them...it's just a blanket feeling I've had; No different than when I am discriminated against because of my color, since my disgust with the US began when they elected Bush. Tonight I feel differently, maybe the US isn't the only one who has finally taken a step forward in ending stereotypical thinking.

And so my final thought is this...it's been a long time since I blogged, mostly because I've been so self-absorbed and the thought of blogging was more like a chore than something that would allow me to express myself. So yes, I know tonight is considered historic but to me it was only significant, maybe as the fugue state lifts even more I will fully realize what this means and perhaps it's enough that not only has a racial barrier been crossed, but at long last my self imposed exile from something that actually makes me happy, has been lifted.

- Swapna

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Mission Complete

Now I know many of you were surprised that I seemed to have gone meekly into the darkness after the comment about the Colony on the last post. The key word here is "seemed", as I was just lying in wait for a certain opportunity which happened to present itself 2 days ago. That was when I finally had the time to take a trip back to the Colony to snap the following picture:









And for those of you unable to clearly see why I was so excited about taking this picture...here's a larger version:
Please note the OPEN TO THE PUBLIC part. While I realize that the beach might once have been designated as 'private' and may be waterfront property owned by The Colony, their sign clearly states that they are no longer an exclusive members only ladeedah type of holiday spot. While they maintain the aura of it being private, and have not done a lot to make it seem like a place for anyone to come and lounge about without buying a meal, taking a snorkeling class, or even partaking of a beverage... their sign says otherwise. So Ms. or Mr. Anonymous, if you think you are paying for exclusivity and you pay the big bucks for that exclusivity....perhaps you should rethink your spending habits. All this aside from the fact, as Anita clearly mentioned, that the idea of anything being private when you are publicly displaying yourself on a beach at the Gulf of Mexico (which is not owned by The Colony) makes the whole idea of thinking you are doing anything privately a farce.

So, now that I have taken care of that snarky little comment, let me update you on my latest forays into the oh so wild side of Bradenton. Sunday evening we had dinner at a little Mexican restaurant where the owner ventured out to meet us and after a discussion where my Aunt and Mother (born and raised in India and having spent the better part of their lives in America) surpised the owner by speaking Spanish fluently, albeit with a Indian tinged accent, managed to wrangle him into making us a special seafood paella which was not on the menu. After several pitchers of Sangria and enough paella to feed China, we managed to roll out of there and into our cars to head home. I would love to recommend the place, but for the life of me I can't remember if it was called Casa de Sol (House of Sun) or Costa Del Sol...either way, if you come to Bradenton look for it on Cortez around 59th Street.

We also went to an artisans fair at Lido Beach, where my aunt Shara and I were suckered into buying a few purchases. The first and most notable being the following....can you guess what it is? Aha! I'm almost sure most of you are guessing it's a vase...but watch closely and see its true use.





























It's made out of honeycomb paper and made me laugh for an insanely long time as I tried every single one in the stall out. BTW trying to take a picture while squishing a vase into a hat on your head is not easy!
Then we headed out to a restaurant at the end of Anna Maria's historical pier where we indulged in coconut shrimp and then caught this little guy hanging around looking for leftovers.










Then yesterday we went to the Hardrock Casino in Tampa and frittered away a great deal of money in an obscenely long day. We arrived there, gambled for about an hour, then had a leisurely lunch, gambled some more. Decided we should stop for a break, so it was martinis and Bloody Marys all round, then gambled some more and returned home to 4 messages from my aunt Kavita begging us to call her as she was sure something horrid had happened since we had not returned home and it was after 6pm, then after 9pm, then after 10:45 and finally the last message was at 11:45, at which point she not only wanted us to call her, but also call my aunt in Virginia as she had also raised the alarm there and now the entire family network was awake and worried. We listened to the messages, called my brother to see how his opening went, then gabbed till 2 am, at which point we buried the phone under some pillows in the living room (so much easier than turning the ringers off) and went to bed until 9am :)
Thank god mom had to answer to my aunts and not me! Oh and before I go, almost forgot to mention having a most divine manicure and pedicure at...now wait for it....Walmart! That's right folks, over here in the U S of A, one can recieve spa services at Walmart. Not only was it a kickass manicure and pedicure, it was also provided at Walmart pricing, 30 dollars for a regular manicure and pedicure, and 45 for my more elaborate french manicure and french pedicure. Mom and I have now decided that we will have our hands and feet done at least two more times before heading off for India and Saskatoon respectively.
Woops before I go, must mention my brother Raj (Flowing Line Pictures) had the premiere of "The Instigator" in Saskatoon the other night. He was the editor and director and did all the filming as well. It's the story of what bullying can lead to, and was really meant to be a feature film for the school system. Apparently the premiere was a huge success with over 450 people walking the red carpet and very positive reviews.
I was fortunate enough to have a sneak preview at Christmas and thought it was good. I have to admit I thought there were serious script issues, but as far as my brother's work goes...I was impressed. I was also impressed with all the hard work Jade did in set decoration, wrangling extras and generally making their locations look like places I have never been...even my brother's house looked completely different! And of course T-Bone did a fantastic job on music. So congrats to everyone who worked so hard in making this short film.
If you are interested in checking it out, go to http://www.theinstigator.ca/
Ahh, now it's time to sip on a margarita while I work on my painting inspired by Klimt, and yes I will post a photo of it once it is complete.
Cheers!
Swapna















Monday, January 07, 2008

They couldn't care less if I lived or died.

Can't believe it's already been a month in this glorious sunshine. Of course we did have two days of near frost while Saskatoon managed a warmer temperature...but things are back as they should be and I'm on the deck in shorts, while my Saskatonian friends should be wearing coats, mittens, scarves and hats. Not that I'm trying to be mean or anything, but seriously, if I ran away from there for some heat and found them sunning themselves while I froze, I would be seriously irritated.

Much has transpired since my arrival here, but other than one tiny little tale of jellyfish, not much else seems worthy of recounting. Anyway, on to the jellyfish story. It was a bright sunny day, and I decided I would go to the beach while mom and Shara went shopping. My beach of choice - the Colony. Now the Colony boasts world class tennis courts and very pricey condos for those with wealth dripping from them like an icecream cone in the sun. Despite my not fitting into that category, I found that the beach is actually open to the public, and if you wander into their restaurant (straight of of Cocktail with the hut and a feisty bartender) one can order a margarita and then head towards the white sands to find a lounger or a little shaded lounger complete with the banana leaf thatched umbrella to shade yourself. I, of course, chose the loungers closer to the water.

I was there early, and although there were a few people milling around, not a single soul was venturing into the water. This did not deter me, I headed to the water's edge, and noticed a lot of little jellyfish had been washed up on to the beach. They looked like clear jelly-like bubbles, so I was glad I was wearing water shoes. Anyway, I figured what the heck, they can't be dangerous, after all there are no warning signs posted around, and if there is any danger, someone will come charging down from the pool to yell at me to get out, after all, what else are lifeguards for? So I slowly waded into the water. The sensation was bizarre. Kind of what I think jello wrestling would be like. Every move I made I could feel the jelly fish swirling around my legs and every where I looked I was surrounded by the little suckers. Undaunted I waded further in until I was in up to my neck. I wanted to go further, but the thought of my hair full of jellyfish kind of made me hesitate. Anyway, other than the weird sensation of swimming in jello, no one seemed to care that I was in the water and all was quite peaceful. So I spent an hour or so swimming with the jellyfish. By then a few more people had wandered out to enjoy the sun and sand, but none of them came in the water. Surprisingly, the gulf water was really warm and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. After about an hour of swimming alone I started freaking myself out thinking of sharks...at that point I decided why the hell would anyone stay in the water if all they were doing was trying to remain perfectly still in order not to attract the attention of sharks...so I decided to get out.

Now you may wonder why I would be freaking out about sharks and the reason is this: About six years back when I was in Florida, I waded out into clear shallow waters and was just enjoying the view when I suddenly felt a strong bump against the back of my knees. Looking down I saw a large, very large, fish swimming near me. A second glance had me realizing it was a baby shark. I was a bit scared but not freaked out or anything and just stood there watching it. Then suddenly I had another thought...if the baby shark is out here bumping my legs...mama shark can't be far behind.

About then I started to panic and was about to bolt for the shore when I remembered that sharks are sometimes attracted to splashing and motion, so I slowly backed out of the water. I think those few moments felt like forever, but I was safe, nothing chewed off half my thigh, so whatever! Anyway, by the time I was out of the water I was over my fear and sprinted for the lifeguard all the while screaming "Shark shark!" feeling quite proud of myself. They closed that part of the beach that day, but by the next all was back to normal and I was once again frolicking away in the water. So apparently I've had some sort of delayed stress regarding the shark, cuz it never once bothered me again till now. But this year I am totally paranoid about a shark chewing off my leg.

Err sorry, forgot I was telling you the jellyfish story...anyway, I got out of the water, dried off, headed back to the bar for another margarita and then Mom and Shara showed up and off we went. When I mentioned the jellyfish, they seemed horrified and wondered how I didn't get stung. I happily reported that I was SURE these were non stinging jellyfish since no one had freaked out on me going in the water and there were no signs posted saying swimming was not allowed. This seemed to appease everyone....everyone until I got home and was near a computer. I started wondering about non stinging jellyfish, so I decided to do a search on them, and search Manatee beach. Turns out marine biologists in the area have been confounded by the sudden influx of large numbers of jellyfish and are thinking it's because of low salinity in the water. Also turns out there were lots and lots of warnings about not entering the water and special warnings about the manatee beach jellyfish that could incapacitate you should be stung! Soooo, how did I manage to swim peacefully with literally hundreds and hundreds of jellyfish all around me? I have a theory, I think my flabby thighs jiggled so much the poor little jellyfish thought I was the mother of all jellyfish, and chose to bow down and worship me, rather than sting me.

But the big question is...why did the Colony staff not stop me from entering the water? My guess, they couldn't care less if I lived or died..what's one less tourist in Florida after all?

-Swapna

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

I've lost my blogging touch...

Ahhh I am on the lanai watching ducks in the pond, smelling the heavenly smell of jasmine, wishing all my bestest friends were here with me. I swear to God, sometimes I do feel like Florida is heaven, which of course, leaves me living in hell the rest of the time. So sorry Saskatoon! I miss the kitties, but for more stories on the adventures of Oli, Tinka and mice, check out Jade's blog as she has much fodder for us. As for me, I shall replace my Oli and Tinka stories with Pari (mom) and Shara (aunty) stories.

For instance, I arrived here a week ago, at which time their fridge had been on the fritz for over a week. How does one survive without a fridge in muggy weather, well one just runs four doors down to the condo owned by another Aunty and stores the food in her fridge since she's not here. Allright, that's an okay plan, but uhh, why hadn't a repairman even been called till I arrived. No worries, I was the heavy and whined enough until mom found the receipt, we checked the warranty and called for a service man. Alas, more drama and choices...should we repair the old fridge, should we buy an extended warranty for another two years, should we buy a new fridge, or should we buy Laxmi (aunt four doors down) a new fridge and take hers, since she replaced her stove and dishwasher last year, but never bought a matching fridge????

After much debate the decision was made to replace Laxmi's fridge as a surprise and then take her fridge to our place. Then the hunt for a new matching fridge started. Time passed, no fridge was good enough, mom waffled, then she started thinking maybe she should get our old fridge repaired. Now I must tell you all, after the first complaint I did not whine again, and I had every right to complain since I became the kitchen runner. Meaning, they need milk for coffee, I must go get it, they forgot to ask me to bring the tomatoes over too, I go get them....blah blah blah. On the upside my calf muscles are starting to take shape. But I digress, back to the fridge story. So yesterday I make my regular morning trip for milk, toast, eggs whatever and I get to Laxmi's place, open the fridge and CRAP, everything is frozen. So now we have one fridge where only the freezer works, and another where the regular fridge part is acting as a freezer...too many freezers and not enough refrigerators!


So later in the day I ask mom when the repairman is coming, she gasps in horror and says "Oh my God I forgot! I was supposed to call back, I will call right now!" So she grabs the phone and off she goes. A little while later I hear her doing her regular thing...it's actually quite funny. She calls the Sears automated line and talks to the machine like this...R E PAAAIR.. REFRIGERATOR, Nooooooo dummy! I said Ffffffridge NONONO I said FRIDGE, oh you are so stuuupeeed! RE FRIDGE RATOR!


Next thing I know she's standing next to me looking rather puzzled and saying, "Swapna, I don't know why, but they keep saying they are going to charge me 68 cents per minute from here on in and say I have to be at least 18 years old." I immediately grab the phone and hang it up. Then I ask her to show me what number she is dialing...turns out mom was accidentally calling for sex. Ahh well, it was remedied quickly. Uhh time has passed since I started this post this morning, it's now 6 pm and I'm back on the lanai, but this time with a margarita. We are celebrating the return of our fridge! Yes, it has been repaired. Next on the list...finding the missing remote control.

I would write more but I'm celebrating and drowning my sorrows at the same time. I left the mother and aunt at home earlier today and went off to do errands, part of which was buying vermouth. Oh God! I almost forgot the vermouth story. I shall make it short, suffice it to say we wanted martinis for cocktail hour and mom said "Yes, yes I have vermouth, just buy gin." So I only bought gin, then I come home ready to rip into the roasted chicken and baguette we bought at Sweet Bay (uhh since being here they have deprived me of meat and all white starches) so having a chicken and baguette in the car with me was testing my willpower. Anyway, I get home and desperately dive into the kitchen to make a martini. Alas we have no ice, so I go to the Aunty's for ice...er, they turned off their ice maker, so now I go door to door looking for a neighbor that will donate some ice to a very worthy cause. I find Irene, a little Greek woman, who says she will gladly give me ice. I fear my explanation was not detailed enough, as I then returned home with enough ice to fill the bathtub. But hey, it was ice...time for martini's right? Wrong! Yes we had vermouth, however, I don't think we even had 5 drops left in the bottle. So off I go to Aunty's place again, this time for vermouth. How can you tell they are sisters? Well by the amount of vermouth in her bottle! So I come back home, fill a pitcher with ice, dump in a ton of gin, splash 10 drops of vermouth in there, throw in some olive juice and tell everyone to drink up their dirty martinis..we were all happy, so happy, we decided we should try for martinis again this evening.

So on the way home I stop at the liquor store and pick up a bottle of vermouth. Then, as I am just walking past my Aunty's condo, on the way to our door, apparently one condo shouted to the other and said, "Hey!!! there's the bitch that stole our vermouth GET HER!" At which point I promptly dropped the vermouth bottle which shattered into ten gazillion pieces. I'm sure the walkway still reeks, and I was very tempted to scoop up some of it from one of the huge pools, however, seeing as I had also purchased some fine margarita's in single serving PLASTIC containers, I just headed home reeking of vermouth and poured myself a big fat margarita.

Btw, in the midst of all the vermouth smashing, the repairman arrived and fixed the refrigerator. So I am slightly tipsy, out on the lanai, smelling like vermouth, dreaming of...well to be honest I'm dreaming of a cigarette, but that's as far as I will get.

Now I'm off to put some more toxically strong topical steroids on my upper lip and then perhaps retire with a good book. (The topical steroids are because I was a moron and got my upper lip waxed which left me with huge red hives, which then turned into huge pus filled zits, which were as far as they got, when I then started popping them and slathering on cream!)

Ciao for now
Swapna

Saturday, December 01, 2007

Don't Just Own it, OM it

Today is a mixed bag of sweet and sad, another death in our little East Indian community of Saskatoon. Much love and prayers being sent out to the Chakravarti's and to the Datta's who lost their mom last week and Carla who also lost her Grandmother recently. As much as my thoughts keep fleeing back to all those families, they seem to run far and fast just as often. Every death, every illness reminds me of Dad. I'm sure in time this will lessen, but for now I share in every death, remembering Dad, remembering them, and thinking and praying for their families.

But, I'm just not ready to wallow in grief. Sometimes it is what you have to do, other times it's just not what you can do. Today is one of those days for me, so I shall focus on the promise of a good tomorrow. Jade and I are having a girls night complete with manicures, pedicures, facials and hair masks. I also ran over to Mom's today to pick up this CD she wants me to bring out to Florida, I absolutely ADORE the CD. It's kind of new agey east Indian chanting, and I was getting a bit freaked out about things and Jade turned to me and said, "Just OM it all away."

How right she is is, OM OM Shanti OM. Peace and serenity. Anyone who says religion has no place in life has not lived enough. Whether it be a very strong faith, or just enough to make you find hope on a dark evening...religion can bring something to your life. And yeah, okay I'm not a zealot, and I am not even a properly practicing Hindu, but if you ever find yourself facing a day when you have no one to talk to, your dog's dying and your cat vomitted all over your carpet...try looking up and pleading to God for a bit of sanity and help. Somehow it always works for me. Believe me too when I say had this been 6 years ago I probably would never have blogged about God, or praying or listening to new agey chanting music, but it wouldn't have been because I didn't do it, it would have been because it's such a touchy subject for so many. But hey, it's six years later, I'm older, wiser and harder. I really don't care what anyone else thinks about me praying. So, if you are in the mood, try out this CD The Essence - Deva Premal
and if it doesn't make you feel more peaceful or able to see something positive in life...then ummm, I dunno, leave some mean message for me!

Well, I'm off to find comfort in refined pores, less crepiness around my eyes and full bodied hair. I shall return from the sunny shores of Florida sometime after Tuesday.

Much peace and happiness
Swapna

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Rumblings and Grumblings

At long last my contract is over! Well, not quite, I still have the final report to write, but the actual event is over and things should be returning to a sluggish pace soon. In fact, I shall be taking my mini sabbatical in just a few weeks, and not a moment too soon.

Plans for Florida include art, writing, and finally getting caught up on my Hindi homework. Of course plans always go awry, but I still make them. Speaking of plans, I have gone against the countless warnings from friends and family and have finally made the leap...yes mom and I will move in together next summer. At least that's what the plan is:P

The new home is being built and will be completed by June. So sometime in the spring when I return to Saskatoon I'll put my house up for sale. Even if plans change and mom doesn't want to live with me, I shall go to the new home for a number of reasons. The first being the fact I really don't want to pay capital gains and I want to make some cash, the second...well I think some of you will understand this. All my life I've always tried to find character homes to live in. Ones with 10 foot ceilings, archways, hardwood floors, glass door knobs, french doors, huge mouldings etc. I have all that right now, and truth be told, I want a new house! I'm at the point where I think I will need new shingles, my furnace really should be replaced and I need central air, not to mention central vac. Plus I'd love a garage for a change, not to mention a house that looks spotlessly clean. Old homes, no matter how much you clean, just don't have that same look that a brand new house has. So yes, I'm lazy, I'm giving up on character and going for ease and comfort. I think that's a sign of age.

Anyway, assuming mom and I don't kill each other in the upcoming months, we shall attempt living together. One would think this would be easy seeing as I am closer to her than anyone else in the world, but somehow things don't work that way. She seems to think that I'm overbearing, bossy and critical. Oddly enough, that's how I have felt about her all my life. Coincidence? I THINK NOT. We are copies of each other...at least as far as flaws go.

Hmm this leads me to believe I should be revamping my plans for Florida, perhaps I should put learning some patience at the top of the list. Most of my family thinks mom and I are both nuts thinking we could possibly live together, and most of my friends think she will drive me crazy, while I'm sure most of her friends think I will drive her crazy.

But what's the right solution. Okay, mom can stay in her own place, and I stay in mine, but if anyone took the time to actually monitor both of us, I'm pretty sure what they would find is that out of a 24 hour day, I spend at least 14 hours worrying about her, and she spends at least 10 hours worrying about whether I am worrying about her and the other waking 4 wondering what I'm doing. We both have 10 free hours which are spent sleeping, bathing and getting work done. Other than that, we obsess about each other. It's not healthy, but I honestly don't know how to stop it.

Any suggestions? Btw I'm sure this post doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but I don't care :)
Ciao for now
Swap