B is for Bad....bad bad bad bad BAD

I think the broken mirrors are catching up to me and I'm going to have to do some hoodoo voodoo to right things pretty darn quick. Actually, things were so stupid, it's not worth rehashing. Although, the morning was kind of funny. Well, it wasn't that funny, but perhaps I could make it a bit more amusing. Okay, just know that this might make it more amusing for me...and you might find it rather dull, but I'm going to give it a shot. I shall attempt to recount my morning using only words that contain four letters or less. Here goes!


I wake up late. I don't know it is late. I don't know it is late cuz it is dark. Why time box no go beep beep beep. Why it dark? I look at time. Time box is dark too. I walk to pee room. Pee room is dark too. I don't know what is up. I check plug. Plug not work. I go to box. Fuse is bad. I fix bad fuse. Now fuse good. Now it is not dark. Now I see it is past 7:30 am. I am late. I hate late, but I okay. I make mush food with milk and 'nana. I sip mush 'nana food and walk on mill and see news on TV. I take bath in tall bath. I dry hair. I put goop on face. I do hair. I look good. I feel good. I go up to feed cats. I can't find cats. I am sad. I look for cats. No cats. I call and call cats. I look more. Still no cats. I am tiny bit sad, but now I also mad. I look more for cats. I no find cats. I more mad. I hear bang. I be shhh. I no hear any bang. I be more shhh. I make ears perk up. I hear bang again. I go look for bang. I hear bang from not on top of step step but uh flip of on top. Hmm how to tell. Okay. I go down step. I hear bang from spot down. I hear grrr. I hear hiss. I open door to bad dark room. This room bad and dark even with good fuse. It not on top of step step, it flip of on top. Get it? Okay so I open door. Two bad cats come out of bad, dark room. One grey cat has Oli cat neck in its maw. Oli cat has grey cat tail in its maw. Bad cats hiss loud. I try to stop bad cats. Bad cats turn on me. I fear cats, I run away. I run up stair. I slip. I hit head, I go THUD THUD THUD. My head hurts bad. Now I not fear cats. Now I mad at cats. I turn on cats. Cats now fear me. Cats run from me. Cats run to bad, dark room. I so mad I slam door. I go THUD THUD THUD up step step now. I slam door to step step. I go get coat, book, etc. I go to car. I get in car. I do in car what you do in car. I in car when I stop the mad. I now feel bad. I stop car. I turn car and go back. I go home and open door to step. I go down step step soft. I open door to bad, dark room. Bad evil cats come out. Bad evil cats are now cute good cats. I feel bad, bad, bad. I go feed cats. I go to car and go to work. I get to work. Girl at work ask why I am late. I say, hey, I wake up late. All dark, bad plug, I fix fuse, I go to feed cats. I no find cats. I get sad. I find cats in bad, dark room. Cats now evil bad cats. I fear cats, I run. I fall. I go THUD THUD THUD. I hurt. I get mad, I turn evil. I lock cats in bad, dark room. I go to work. I feel bad, I go back home. I free cats. I feed cats. I now good girl. I come to work but I am late. Get it? Girl don't get it. I ask myself, "Why I work with dumb girl?"







Evil cats as they fake cute and good.


-Swapna
PS - If this isn't fun to read, just try doing it, you'll pee your pants laughing!