Crumb Cake

So it's almost 12:30, I'm slogging away at blogging and all that comes to mind is the fact I have an 8 am meeting and I am still trying to print the documents I need for it. Why is it when you need to print something you are either out of paper, ink or the printer is being fussy. Also, why is it I make three calls to my cable company for help with my email, and three times I am made to test the same things over and over, and three times they say they solved my problem, and three times I find my problem is not fixed within ten minutes of hanging up the phone after talking to them? After the fourth call, the guy said something was wrong with my cable connection.

So on Thursday they are sending someone out here to check out my connection. I'm pretty sure that will be the first of three visits where they tell me everything is fixed when it's not. Then I will be told it's a software issue, so I can begin calling the software help line to be told it's a hardware issue, then I will call Toshiba, and they will tell me to take my computer in to the nearest dealer, and then I will have no computer for three days, three weeks or three months. At the end of all of this, I will be told my computer is all better, I will come home, it will not be all better, and my head will explode.

Okay less complaining and more babbling. Tomorrow my brother and Jade are coming for dinner. I promised Indian food, I lied. I have no idea why I asked people over when I have a full day. I could order some Indian food, throw it in my own pot, let some gravy slop over onto my stovetop and pretend I made it, but that's only fun when the people care what you give them. I'm pretty sure my brother could care less what I feed him. As for Jade, well she won't care either, as long as it's not soup. Jade hates soup. Go figure.

You know, after saying I don't have the time to do it, I'm now hellbent on making Indian food. So the question comes down to this...what can I cut out of my day in order to make time for cooking? I could skip bathing, but this will leave me crabby, and may prove to be a bad choice when I'm facing a boardroom of people. Okay, so bathing has to stay. How about I skip my workout? Now see, that is so tempting, but if I skip my workout I will feel guilty all day, and if I feel guilty, I will not be able to concentrate, if I can't concentrate I could make a potentially damaging error in my morning presentation. That can NOT happen, so the workout stays. I could skip cleaning, but then I would be too horrified to let my brother and Jade into the house which would totally defeat my having cooked at all, or I could skip shovelling the front walk, but then someone could slip and die, and the ensuing trial would be far more damaging to my career than a fumble in the boardroom. GAH, I think it's obvious I'm going to have to skip things I actually like if this is going to work.

I am loathe to skip things that make me happy, so I shall leave it to you, please vote on which of the following I should skip in order to make up the two extra hours I'm going to need. Obviously, I will have to skip more than one thing, so add em up, and mark em down!

1) Slathering myself with lotion after my morning shower - 5 minutes
2) Using my makeup mirror to create a flash of light on the wall that the cats then try to catch...invariably they slam into the wall or slide across the hall and go THWACK into each other and then start fighting, it's all rather amusing, but it does take about 15 minutes.
3) Skip my mascara application. It was a lot easier when I didn't buy that stupid expensive mascara. The new stuff requires me to put on a primer, then the mascara - 2 minutes
4) Whitening my teeth. I have this ultraviolet light thingy that you stick in your mouth and it supposedly whitens your teeth. Normally I wouldn't care about this at all, but since I quit smoking I use this to make me feel proud of my nice bright white teeth. - Seven minutes
5) Choosing my outfit - 2 minutes (I would end up wearing the same thing I did yesterday, but it would save valuable time)
6) Straightening my hair - 4 minutes
7) Reading my morning emails - 5 minutes
8) Drinking my morning tea while doing nothing else - 5 minutes
9) Writing my morning pages - 15 minutes
10) Letting the car warm up - 10 minutes
11) Eating breakfast - 37 seconds (yogurt can be gulped)
12) Daydreaming about all the fantastic things I should have blogged about - 1 hour
13) Daydreaming about all the books I should have written, started writing, or want to write - 1 hour
14) Daydreaming about buying a Spanish villa that I decorate from scratch, including putting in the most fantastic tile mosaic in the entryway, which George Clooney then hears about and drops by to see - .5 to 1 hour depending on what type of home renovation skills I choose to pretend I excel at.
15) Fantasizing about the Spanish Villa having a secret door in the master bedroom that swivels and you enter a labyrinth-like tunnel that leads out to the beach not far from my home. Then daydreaming a bit more about how one night I am forced to use this secret exit when someone breaks into my home and tries to kill me. Ultimately, I escape from the villa and end up wandering the beach in a storm where a wave knocks me from my feet and sweeps me into the murky depths of the sea where I have a vision of the assailants trying to get to me by going after my mother. This frightens me enough that I begin to struggle and finally surface, gagging on the sea water as I drag myself out to save her. To make a long story short, much excitement ensues and in the end I save the world. - 35 minutes
16) Daydreaming about George Clooney living next door to my Spanish Villa, but he's away on a shoot so he loans his house to Nicole Kidman, who is filming nearby. She brings her two kids to the place, but one day she is late getting back and the kids are on their own, so she calls me to see if I can watch them till she gets back or arranges for someone to pick them up. I, of course, say it's no problem and take care of the kids. We are having a wonderful time making these amazing blown glass mobiles when there is a knock on the door.....Guess who it is? Yes, it's Tom and Katie coming to pick up the kids. Katie is all pissy and wants freshly squeezed lemonade, and for some reason they assume I'm the maid and order me to squeeze some lemons. I find this all rather amusing so I figure I will just go make some lemonade with salt and come back to find Tom ready to kill me. He's spotted my cigarettes (in my daydreams I get to smoke!) Anyway, he freaks out on me and insists that I call the owner because he wants to get me fired. Then Nicole shows up, and is all embarrassed and irritated with Tom who starts jumping up and down on my one of a kind chaise lounge as he declares his love for Katie and berates me for putting her at risk with my second hand smoke. Nicole starts screaming back, Katie bursts into tears, so I hand her the lemonade, which she sips and spews all over. Now she starts screaming. I have no idea what happens to the kids, since they seem to disappear from my daydream at this point, anyway, while everyone is screaming and freaking out, George arrives back and walks in on this mess. Tom flips out on George about letting the kids come over to a house where the owner lets the maid smoke, while Katie is screaming at him about the maid trying to poison her, while Nicole is screaming at them both saying thetans should no better than to be racist while George finally figures out that Tom thinks I'm the maid and finds this all horribly amusing so he starts cracking up. This makes Tom even more angry, so he storms out with a crying Katie, while Nicole freaks out about how pathetic they both are and takes off to find the kids and take them home. Eventually George and I end up making out. - 10 minutes (it's so ingrained I go through it in super fast-forward mode)
16) Procrastinating about cleaning - 2 hours
17) Cleaning - 25 minutes
18) Trying to recite all the real names of the cast members of all the tv shows I watch regularly
19) Staring at my plants wondering if they really need to be watered or if I can wait another day - 20 minutes
20) Shopping for things I don't need - 30 minutes
21) Thinking about smoking - 18 hours

You know, it's rather exhausting thinking of all the hard work I do every day, I think a good night's sleep is required.
Night night!
Swapna