I'm Planning my Funeral, Could one of you bring a hot appetizer?

No, it's not the cigarettes, today happens to be an okay day regarding withdrawal...it's mirrors. Yes mirrors. Now I know you are thinking, don't despair Swapna, you will lose weight...but uh, that's not it either. It's umm, 21 years of bad luck and I didn't reverse it correctly!

That's right, I broke three mirrors this morning. And...well nevermind, let me just tell you what happened, and you decide what my future holds.

The morning started out fine, I slept in till about 7:45, got out of bed, did my morning ablutions then headed for the treadmill. After that I headed for a quick shower then went to do my hair. It was at that point I decided my eyebrows were looking a bit shaggy, so I grabbed my tweezers and hand mirror and started the painful job. Partway through, the phone rang, so I jumped up to answer. In the process I thought I was placing the hand mirror on the table, but apparently I kinda placed it on the edge, so it started to slide off. I even saw it sliding, but I wasn't too worried, I mean those things are sturdy, and it was just going to land a couple inches down on my chair. So I turned my back on the mirror and got the phone. When I returned, there was a shattered...and I mean shattered mirror on my chair. I still can't figure out how it could possibly have shattered, specially since my chair is nice and cushiony and has a cloth cover.

Alrighty, I was irritated, but I cleaned up the mess, gave up on my eyebrows, and headed to the laundry room to rescue the duvet from the washer and throw the towels in. Now last night I cleaned out one of the drawers in the spare room, and had filled a basket with stuff to take downstairs and put away. One of the items was an outdoor mirror. It's really pretty and perfect for the gazebo, but not really something that could withstand our winter. So I was planning on storing it till the spring. Now the mirror was safely ensconced in the basket, which was safely placed on top of the deep freezer way out of the way of anything else in the laundry room. So I head into the laundry room, open the washing machine lid, and started hauling out the wet duvet. It was really heavy, so I was tugging with quite a bit of force when BAM, I pull out the last part of the duvet, and the Downey ball (one of those balls that you put your fabric softener in, and then they open during the rinse cylce) flies out of the wet duvet, soars across the room, angles around a corner and THUNK! smashes into the mirror and breaks it.

Like geez, what are the chances. Arrrgh. Okay so I clean up that mess, get the duvet in the dryer, put the towels in the wash and head upstairs to feed the cats and eat my yogurt. Everything was going just fine till I decided to read some blogs while I drank my tea. I sat down and started reading when all of a sudden I heard a huge tinkling crash. It was such an odd type of crash. Kind of reminded me of a million lightbulbs hitting the ground and bursting. I sat still for a moment, wondering if I had a chandelier that could of fallen...but nope, I don't have a chandelier. So I got up to explore. I kind of thought it came from the basement, but I went to look in the living room, since I just couldnt think of anything in the basement that could have fallen and broken.

Nope, nothing in the living room, nothing on the porch, kitchen, spare room, cloak room, upstairs bathroom, hallways blah blah. Okay time to go downstairs. I didn't even have to hit the bottom of the stairs and I could see hundreds of little slivers of glass all over. I think I mentioned I was on a bit of a mission over the holidays to rid myself of things I hadn't used. As a result, I had a pile of stuff downstairs that I am holding for my friend's mother. She is coming to pick up all the items this weekend, but until then I had them all stacked downstairs. So I had a microwave, a microwave cart, a toaster oven, a computer monitor and tower, computer accessories, a small table, two chairs, a box of dishes, one light and stashed way behind this pile, and right up against the wall was a huge flat mirror that could be used anywhere. Yes, you guessed it, that mirror somehow managed to slide out of there, hit something else and just explode into a million pieces. I was ready to explode in a million pieces, but I went and got the broom, the vacuum and a box and cleaned up the mess.

Upon reading up on supersititions, I found that if a mirror that is undisturbed suddenly falls and breaks, it means there will be a death in the house. And the proper way to reverse all this bad luck is to wait seven hours after breaking a mirror (one hour for each year of bad luck) then pick up the pieces and bury them under the light of the moon.

Well damn it, I already picked all the pieces up...and bury it...under what..snow? So now you know why I am planning my funeral, although I might be jumping the gun a bit. I know the first two mirrors were kind of my fault, so I will take the 14 years of badluck for them, but that last one....at first it appeared to have mysteriously slid sideways and smashed, which would mean fortelling a death. But thinking back, I remember Tinka skulking around the stairs as I investigated. Seems much more likely that she was the culprit, so perhaps I'll give her the last 7

And just in case you think I'm making this all up....

the hand mirror

The gazebo mirror minus its pretty wrought iron frame which I'm keeping

The mirror that mysteriously slid sideways and smashed

The guest of honour for either the funeral or 14 years of bad luck



I can't prove it, but here's the real culprit in my humble opinion