Life Can Be Shitty

This weekend a 24 year old good looking guy hit on me. I should have been flattered, I should have let him buy me a drink, perhaps I should even have gone over and sat with him and given him my number. Instead, I felt really uncomfortable, refused to look his way again, and rushed outta there as fast as I could. Aaaugh, when did I suddenly get old!

Outside of that, it wasn't that exciting of a weekend, but oh, I almost forgot, well not forgot...tried to forget... Okay fine I will tell you. I fell, and it wasn't a slip or stumble, it was an actual fall where you crash. So yes, I fell off the non-smoking wagon really, really hard. So hard my lungs hurt this morning. I'm back on the wagon and feeling all twitchy and nervous all over again. I would complain more, but really, it's my own fault. *grumble* On the bright side, uhhh there is no bright side.

Geez I had all these things I was going to blog about and now they've flown out of my head. I think this is what happens when you start banging your head against the wall. Why am I banging my head against the wall? Well, I think it's a bit cultural. In India you beat your head against the wall or wail and beat your chest and head when tragedy strikes. I've adapted it slightly, and just do the head pounding thing. Not that hard, just kinda a light constant thud thud thud thud. In fact, I'm so used to crappy things happening, I'm thinking of just incorporating it as part of my daily routine. You know, get up, go to the bathroom, stand in the shower and beat your head, get out, get dressed and go about your day.

Today's head beating was courtesy of Tinka. I had a meeting at 9:30 to try and find a sponsor for one of our conference speakers. So I got all dressed up and was ready early, so I did some work, and then decided to play with the kitties. They chased a toy for a bit, then I decided to try and brush them without picking either one up. Hey, once I pick one up, I have to spend at least 30 minutes with a lint brush trying to rid myself of the coating of hair they leave on me. So first was Oli who obliged by lying sprawled out on her chair. Next was Miss Tinka on the hammock. However, when I started brushing Tinka I also started smelling poop. I took a quick peek at her backside, but nope, all looked okay there, so I started brushing again, thinking it must have been noxious gas. All of a sudden...gloop, the brush got caught, I reached up my other hand and bam, there it was. Yes a gob of cat poop on my hand. Ugh, just thinking about it makes me want to gag. And it was gross poop! Uhh, not that there is non-gross poop, but I mean it was all watery and runny.

Obviously I immediately gave up brushing Tinka, made a beeline for the sink, threw the brush in a sink full of bleach, soap and water, and then washed my hands thoroughly. Back to Tinka who was subjected to a quick dousing under the sink and nasty rubdown with antibacterial soap. Then I had to scrub down the cat hammock...but I could still smell poop! By the time that was all done it was time to leave for the meeting.

So I'm driving along but I still smell poop. Now I start getting paranoid thinking that maybe I have some on me. As soon as I get to the meeting I pull off my coat and surreptitiously check my clothing. Nothing on my blouse, not on my sweater, nothing on the sleeves, my pants look fine...I must have been imagining it all! So I make my presentation and I think they were suitably impressed, but I was kind of off my game seeing as I could still smell something kaka-ish. In the end, I left them with a proposal and hoped they didn't smell anything. Then it was back home where I made a beeline for the bathroom...too much tea. Once there, I happened to glance into the mirror. AHHHH so that's where the poop smell came from. It was smeared on my forehead of course.

Note to self **when finding poop on your hands, be very conscious of the fact your first response may be to use the back of your hand to sweep the hair off your face...thereby leaving a smear of kaka on your forehead.**

After that, my day was a piece of cake!

PS anyone else noticing a trend in my postings?