Murder or Accidental Death...You Decide

I woke early yesterday, so early it was still dark outside. One of those days when you dread rolling out of bed because you know something bad is going to happen. But, being the sucker I am for punishment, I jumped up anyway. About two hours later, I was finally ready to venture upstairs. (No I don't take that long to get ready, I worked out first:P) Anyway, I headed upstairs, grabbed myself a cup of tea, and fed the cats. The I moved into the sun room to sit down and do some writing when I saw him. Normally I wouldn't even have noticed anything was wrong, but I slopped some hot tea on my way in, so I happened to glance his way and noticed he was listing slightly to the left. Again, this isn't that abnormal for him, he often is kinda rolled over on his side, swaying slightly, but that morning he was still, very, very still, and well, nose down.

I knew the day would come, but I had expected to find him floating belly up, not nose dived down among the fake plants, his pretty tail swaying gently in the water. Poor Konji, at first I wasn't even sure he was dead. I tapped on the glass, expecting him to sidle up and slide along the bowl as if he were caressing me, but nope...nothing. Dead fish, dead dead dead dead!

I really was sad, although it didn't last that long before I decided I should have a funeral. Of course I also wanted to examine the body. I had heard these bettas live 3 or 4 years and I had only had poor Konji for a year. So, I grabbed the vase (don't judge me you 10 gallon aquarium owning bastards, I just read the write up in Wikipedia!) and headed for the sink, where I proceeded to pour Konji out into a tiny little fish net.

Now what followed really should be preceeded with a little explanation. First, the betta has a labyrinth organ which allows it to take in oxygen from the surface air, similar to the human lung, so if a betta can't reach the surface of the water, the betta will suffocate in a matter of hours.

There is a well known story out there, about how bettas live in mud puddles and actually prefer stagnant water and small enclosed spaces, but according to wikipedia, that is a stereotype. Btw, it kind of cracks me up that we stereotype fish..but anyway, the truth is that normally bettas live in vast paddies, and the puddle myth originates from the fact that during the dry season, the paddies can dry out into small patches of water. However, that is not their natural habitat, nor is it a normal state of affair, and in the wild, fish trapped in such puddles are likely to die in a short period of time when they dry out. BUT!!! it is true that they can live outside of water for a period of time, unlike most other fish.

Basically, all this means is that I should have checked out Wikipedia first, and would have bought one of those biospheres at the very least. However, having said that, Konji seemed very content and happy, at least to me, in his little vase with the sickly lily floating up top. He had even created a bubble nest, although where the magical fry were going to appear from for him to take care of, was beyond my comprehension. Anyway, back to the betta lesson...really all I was trying to get across was the fact that the darned fish had a lung type system and can breathe! That's the key people, now pay attention.

Hmm I think I should just post the official autopsy report now:

AUTOPSY REPORT 04/02/07
case 4444444

I performed an autopsy on the body of Matimaihimo, Konji Nu Wai Ashiko at the KITCHEN SINK DEPARTMENT OF HOME FISHERIES, Saskatoon, Saskatchewan on January 3, 2007 at approximately 0900 Hours.

From the anatomic findings and pertinent history, I ascribe the death to:
Suffocation Due to Or As a Consequence of
_____________________________________
Anatomical Summary:

Upon physical examination it was found that the body was consistent with that of a healthy male betta of approximately 1 to 1.3 years of age.

Rigor mortis had set in, and the victim's mouth seemed to have an unusual grimace or down-turned appearance.

There were no visible signs of physical struggle or injury.

NOTES AND PROCEDURES:
The body is described as that found in a Standard Anatomical Position for newly deceased fish. Due to the lack of floatation, it was determined that the fish could not have been dead for more than a few hours. Reference is to this position only.

Any injuries to the body surface are post mortem and as a result of autopsy procedures only.

Body temperature was unable to be obtained, mainly because I only have a meat thermometer, and attempting to insert that into the victim's body, would have resulted in ripping the body apart.


EXTERNAL EXAMINATION

The body is that of a well developed, well nourished colored betta splendans, stated to be just under one year old. The body weighs almost nothing and was covered in a colorful variety of scales that would best be described as teal. The outer body was slightly textured, although the feel of this was reduced partially due to a small coating of slime. Although it should be noted that the sliminess was not of the gross variety that makes you scream and gag, but was rather more like a normal amount of slime, not unlike the coating of freshly peeled lychee nut, and is most probably normal for a fish.

At first glance there appeared to be a whitish tint to the gill area, however, upon closer examination this was seen to be a patch of silvery scales that would normally not be seen and again is most probably a normal variant and actually quite pretty.

The head is normocephalic, and the nose/snout and eyes are not remarkable. The mouth of the victim was found to be down turned, rather like an unhappy fish, which in itself is remarkable, particularly since we know from previous case history that this fish was extremely well loved, cared and nurtured and was known for his happy demeanour.

Examination of the anterior and posterior surface of the trunk is not remarkable.

CLOTHING
There were no articles of clothing, and while this can be disturbing, it is not likely that this was a sexual crime and appears to be a natural state for the victim.

EVIDENCE OF THERAPEUTIC INTERVENTION
None

EVIDENCE OF INJURY
1. Upon closer examination of the victim's mouth, it was found that a small piece of brine shrimp was lodged in the anterior portion. This piece did not appear macerated and mushy, but could or regurgitated.

Opinion - The piece of brine shrimp could have been sucked into the victim's mouth if he were gasping for air, or alternatively, could have been causing the victim to choke, although this is less likely since it did not appear to have been chewed or mushed in any manner.


2. Upon opening of the body cavity, a small cloud of noxious substance was released into the air, causing the coroner a moment of confusion, quickly replaced by deep inhalations and a fleeting second of happiness.

Opinion - Upon reflection, it can only be concluded that a small amount of nicotine laced air was being held in the victim's lung like organ and was released upon autopsy.


TOXICOLOGY
The victim's body was ravaged with nicotine and tar, although the lung like organ seemed to have adapted itself to this condition and had apparently further adapted to become a chamber housing highly addictive substances and noxious fumes.

HISTOLOGY
Inconclusive due to the fact the small slice of fish I took for staining was swiped from my hand and quickly swallowed by another resident of the victim's household. (Charges for obstruction of justice are pending against one Tinka Padmanabh)

Serology and Radiology - not applicable

CONCLUSION:
This unfortunate male betta was victim of bizarre circumstances. Having been moved from an miserable existence at Pet Cetera, he was brought back to life in the Padmanabh household. There, by all accounts, he began to thrive in his new environment although he was forced to live in the smoke filled haze created by a chain smoking owner. Having adapted to these living conditions, the victim then became addicted to second hand smoke, and his natural ability to adapt to changing circumstance led to a heightened advancement in lung capacity for this fish. After months of living in such conditions, his already amazing lung-like organ created a super advanced labyrinth-like webbing to absorb and hold nicotine. This allowed the victim to release nicotine into his bloodstream whenever the said chain-smoking owner was no longer present. However, after 4 days of not being exposed to a nicotine induced haze, the advanced labyrinth-like webbing of the lung-like organ was depleted of almost all of its nicotine and tar. At this point, the victim was most likely rather cranky and irritable, which would account for the down-turned, almost angry like grimace noted by the coroner, and would have begun to take large gasping like breaths, in order to try and find nicotine in the outside air. It is my opinion that during one of these large gasping like paroxysms, the victim most likely accidentally sucked up a large piece of brine shrimp and died.

Cause of death is thereby deemed to be accidental choking and no charges will be laid.

Dated this 4th day of January, 2007
Coroner: Swapna Padmanabh

Witnessed by:
Olivya (Oli)
Tinka (now in custody)



So there you have it, the tragic circumstances surrounding Konji's death. I'm still in a state of shock, and although I immediately wanted to run out and find a replacement for my loss, I held back. At this time, we the family, are contemplating suing a big tobacco company in the hopes that his death can be put down to withdrawal symptoms or at the very least a complication from second hand smoke. Anyone willing to support us in our petition is asked to send money via paypal (we expected the process to be long and drawn out), and we extend our gratitude to you in advance.

Love,
Swapna, Oli, Tinka, and Konji if only he were here.

In Memory
Konji Nu Wai Ashiko Matimaihimo
February 2006 - January 2007 - Rest In Peace