Halfway to being Tarred and Feathered

You know no matter how hard I try (and I obviously don't try that hard) I can't seem to get back into the blogging rhythm. I've had my cousin's kids visiting for a month and then my cousin and her husband joined them for the last 10 days, and I did my kids creative writing summer camp, and blah blah, but all of that was over one week ago, and still I did not blog. Then it happened...I received an email from Jean, well it was a blog comment but it showed up in my inbox. Now you see, every now and then I do receive comments like this, but usually they are from Anita or Carla.

When Anita does it, I feel like I used to when I was a kid and my sister and I would be getting ready for school, and I'd be fussing with my clothes or something and she would start her whining...Hurry up, we're going to be laaaate! Yeah yeah I know I should be posting, and thanks for reminding me, but I'll get around to it when I get around to it. And then I go do it.

Now if Carla sends me a reminder to blog it's more like my sister cuffing me upside the head saying, MOVE YOUR ASS or I'll move it for you. Of course my response to that is, Shaddap you scrawny little monster, you don't scare me! But again, I go and post.

Now we come to Jean. Dear Jean, the gentle, wise, comical, astute lady from England whom I have never met. She leaves this comment:

Swapna, dear -- isn't it time we had another blog entry? I don't mean to criticise or anything, but I miss you. Posted by Jean to Saskawhere? at 3:47 PM

A very sweet and kind message, but oh my god, my reaction to it was one of great shame! In fact, this is kind of how I reacted..

Oh no Jean messaged! Oh man I've let her down, should I post right away? No no, that looks too pathetic, I should wait. (5 minutes pass) Oh god I still haven't posted, what if she checks back, she knows I will see that comment, well maybe she doesn't know I get email notification, nawww, she knows! I'll just leave it a bit longer and then I will go post. (hours pass). Dear God I haven't posted! Hmmm, it's too late I should go to sleep now, I will post first thing tomorrow morning. Then the dreams begin....Okay I didn't really dream this that night, but I woke up feeling as though I had. In fact, I woke up feeling like this: Someone has put a noose around my neck, shackled me and is dragging me behind a cart while reciting a grievously long list of my lifetime of transgressions. Finally, I am brought before the magistrate in a public forum where the verdict is delivered...I am to be tarred and feathered for crimes against the Crown. Now they are dousing me in hot pine tar then rolling me around in feathers before my ultimate humiliation where they parade me around town on a cart. And to add insult to injury, I'm being pelted with rotting vegetables. Finally they stop at the town square, right under the hangman's noose...

So basically, after waking up and feeling like that, I was too scared to open my computer.

However, it is now Tuesday morning after a long weekend, and after a good night's sleep, I managed to look at myself in the mirror this morning and realize I'm only halfway to being tarred and feathered...seriously, I'm black, black, black. I can't say it's tar, but gardening all weekend has definitely left me looking like only the whites of my eyes and my gleaming teeth would show late at night. So before the feathering begins, I have managed to muster up the will to drag myself back here and prostrate myself before you all as I grovel for forgiveness.

The bonus to all of this is that my ridiculously long-winded explanation of my shame in not blogging is basically enough to count as a full fledged posting! Ooooo don't I feel clever now!






The Bostonians Paying the Excise-Man, 1774 British propaganda print referring to the tarring and feathering of Boston Commissioner of Customs John Malcolm four weeks after the Boston Tea Party. The men also poured hot tea down Malcolm's throat as can be seen. Note the noose hanging on the Liberty Tree, and the Stamp Act posted upside-down
(Wikipedia)



Cheers!
Swapna